EP 102 – Eat This: The Blame Game

Why me, why her/him and not me? Why does it seem so much easier for others to lose the weight, stick to the program, to get up and go to the gym, basically anything that you see others having success in. “Why not me” is a narrative that can weigh you down, keep you stuck and hold you back from feeling incredible and having the life that you want. 

Do you know what’s holding you back from all that you want? I bet you could come up with a nice long list of reasons you’re not at your goal weight, peak performance or having bright and vibrant skin, if that’s what you really want. The million dollar magic pill, answer to it all, is YOU. You are holding yourself back, I am holding myself back. Each and every one of us has the potential to have it all. All you could ever dream of and desire. I can hear it already…the buts – but I can’t afford the good food, but I don’t know what to do next, but I can’t get myself up in the morning to go to the gym – I’m a night owl …. All the buts that you come up with likely come down to your patterns. Patterns that drive your behaviours, your thoughts and actions, both positive and negative, these patterns run our lives. As the topic for this series is #BeIntentional, we have to look at our own behaviours and patterns. Where do we get stuck, what’s holding us back, and how to get out of your own way. Whatever the influence that has impacted your life up until now has formed your beliefs and opinions that drive the choices you make for yourself, and why. Why do you self soothe with food? Why do you lose weight only to end up back where you were six months later? Yes, it’s because of YOU. I’m not trying to pile weight onto your shoulders by saying this, but setting us up to speak with someone who I have personally worked with for more than two years, to help me get out of my own way – to get myself unstuck from my patterns and habits. As my guest today has had such an impact on my life, I want to share her wisdom with you, in the hopes that you too can realize that you can have it all.

So today on EAT THIS with Lianne – second in the series of #BeIntentional is about seeing your patterns and how to break through what’s holding you back by taking responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and actions. 

Taking responsibility for your own actions and admitting what is holding you back is not easy, but it’s a topic that I focus on with myself and my clients. We all have patterns; the ways that we behave, what influences our choices and how we show up for ourselves and with family, and friends. It’s easier to see where someone else is in a state of self-sabotage than it is within ourselves, but noticing patterns and situations that keep on happening is where intentional change begins. Then there’s the blame game when you don’t reach your goals. Who are you blaming? What are you blaming? Is it outside of yourself or is it you and what’s underneath it all? There’s a lot to this topic, so hang tight because we are going there. 

Over the past two years, I’ve worked with an intuitive coach. My mind so often gets the best of me, making up stories, laying blame, and coming up with reasons why this is one way, and something else is another and not always having the acceptance that this (whatever this is) is happening for me, not to me. 

Life is a journey of learning and I have found that having support, insight, and someone who is able to call me on my BS, and tell me that I’m making a story up that is no longer serving me, has changed my life. For the better. And the person that has helped me with that is Carolyn. 

Carolyn Monden is an intuitive life coach.

She specializes in removing blocks and uncovering your true desires. Carolyn is passionate about empowering others to access the answers for themselves and a deep connection to self. She believes that self-awareness is the answer, and it is her purpose to teach, interpret, and guide you as you find your life’s alignment. Her background and experience are extensive—encompassing 20 years in marketing, business, and community building. With this experience, she helps her fellow lightworkers move past fear and a deep connection to self. After her spiritual awakening in 2015, Carolyn left her 10-year career in politics to follow her soul’s purpose.

If you’re anything like me, I’m going to listen to this episode over and over again as I so often hear things that Carolyn says differently, or I actually hear a point that I didn’t hear in our session. I love how she explained that while you’re looking at your patterns, looking at what got you to the glass of wine, cookie or binge of whatever, there is NO judgement. This is a loving and kind look at yourself, and an opportunity to give yourself what you need or ask someone else for help. The steps to sabotage start with that pause, that breath in recognizing what you need and as Carolyn said, it’s a practice. A consistency in realizing that you’re going down the same path and interrupting that pattern by pausing and being mindful of what’s going on. 

Being in touch with your feelings doesn’t come easy – I’ve had to have lists of feeling words to help me identify and give a name to it, and then realize that there’s more under any given feeling – for me, most lead to I am not enough, or not worthy. Understanding that has helped immensely in disarming my blame game and putting my crap onto others, and ultimately helping me be a responsible human. If any of this resonates with you, please know that you’re not alone, and as Carolyn said, being human is hard. Know that. But also know that getting help, having someone to call you on your shit is a powerful thing to do and not a sign of weakness. Especially for those people who do it all. Ask for help, reach out to carolyn at HolisticSpiritHealer.com, grab her book LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, or email her carolyn@holisticspirithealer.com. Reach out to me for a consultation to get you to where you want to be. You don’t have to do it alone. 

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